


Insomnia

by jazzyjaguar64



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Flowers, Insomnia, One-Sided Attraction, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Sleep Deprivation, Slow Burn, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2019-08-25 18:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16666330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jazzyjaguar64/pseuds/jazzyjaguar64
Summary: Glimmer has had trouble falling asleep all her life and what makes it worse is when it starts effecting her waking life. She can withstand various forms of physical torment from the Horde, but can she say the same for mental torture?





	1. Lunar Labiscus

> Soft and short breaths were echoing in Glimmer's ear. It wasn’t really what was keeping her awake however. The scratches on her face and body aches from being touched, even if it was the tender touch of her mattress and blankets attempting to seduce her into falling asleep. She had long been immune to their comfort and warmth and faćade of safety. So, instead she looks up at the ceiling with wide open eyes. She knew that in her mind and body she was exhausted to the bone. Her muscles screamed at the slightest move and her head melted when tasked with deciphering simple sentences. Yet still, her eyes had not become tired. They were still dancing around the room, looking for one thing or another worthy enough to focus her attention on. Often times in the past, she would have to settle with looking at her crystals hung from the ceiling and the walls. Sometimes they would shift and swing at night with her window letting the chill in. That was the past though. Now she had Adora to look at.

Adora was the only thing in the room that moved apart from the crystals occasionally, but even so, her breaths were short and ghosted just the edge of the pillow and if it weren’t so deathly quiet, Glimmer could probably never hear them. Adora had been spending her nights in Glimmer’s quarters whenever Bow couldn’t stay over. He felt unsafe sleeping in the castle after such a close call of an attack so soon. He had offered for the both of them to stay the night somewhere else, but both of them had refused. Glimmer, because her mom could never have let her stay somewhere else for fear of her having a heart attack and Adora because she felt like she should protect the castle, in case of another attack.

Glimmer watched as Adora’s body remained incredibly still. Her body was curled up into a fetal position facing away from Glimmer. Her hair wasn’t even out of it’s ponytail yet, but the hair tie had shuffled down a little from her trying to get comfortable. If she didn’t know any better, she would’ve thought that Adora were nothing but a corpse of her former self. That thought sent a small shiver crawling around Glimmer’s body. It was an extremely close call with the Horde attacking Bright Moon, and Glimmer couldn’t even begin to know what she would do if anyone had gotten hurt. Especially not Adora. She has her own slew of things she needs to do as She-ra and her being… killed by the Horde would throw all of Etheria out of balance. Her thought process had stopped after one incredibly worrying statement.

‘What would I do if she had been killed?’ She thought, ‘It’s easy to forget all of the personal things when you have the world on your shoulders’ she supposes. She bites down onto her lip. Its dry and flaky between her teeth. She picks at it until she tastes a small amount of blood on her tongue and licks it away. ‘Would I even care enough about living to go on?’ she thinks, ‘Does it even matter if I do go on now?’ she internally shakes her head, ‘Yes, it does matter. We just won a grueling battle against the Horde, and I am one of the reasons the princesses were even willing to help us,’

She shifts under the covers, much to her muscles dismay, a little farther from Adora and closer to the edge. “I matter.” she whispers to herself quietly.

A part of her doesn’t really believe it.

Glimmer groans at herself a little and decides to go for a walk to clear the fog. It wouldn’t be to bad either if she kept watch for the night if she couldn’t sleep. She creeps down the steps, not wanting to wake up Adora because of how much she pushed herself today. Her legs are wobbly and hurt like hell on the first step. She just barely manages to keep the grunt of pain from leaving her lips. Her bare feet tap lightly on each step as she descends quietly, and quite painfully, to the floor. She looks at all of the things that were on her high up shelves that had been splayed out on the floor from the attack shaking them down. She curses herself silently and heads for the door, as soon as she’s outside of it she can teleport freely without making a ruckus, or at least a ruckus that won’t wake up Adora.

She raises her arm and touches the doorknob slowly. Her bicep feels like it’s being stabbed with a million tiny needles as she opens it up. She spares one glance toward Adora; she’s shifting on her other side and curling up even more into the covers. She can see a small shiver running down Adoras back before she leaves. The door closes with a gentle click and Glimmer prepares herself to teleport. With a quick look to the left and the right down the hall to check if anyone was near and a lot of concentration, she was gone with nothing but a few sparkles left behind.

Glimmer appears in the garden where she finds only dark blues of the sky mixed with the waxing Gibbous moon. The flowers are protruding from the dark green bushes that look cobalt from the lack of light. The flowers that haven’t been touched by the moonlight are just buds with a sky blue glowing trapped on the inside. Glimmer runs her fingers across the petals sentimentally. She and Bow had sat and watched these flowers and wait until the buds had turned into a beautiful display of glowing corollas. However the most gorgeous part of them was always the little antenna sticking out from the middle that had little glowing pom-poms full of pollen at it’s tips. It was a lot like a lotus, in its appearance, but not in its meaning. The lunar labiscus tends to mean reluctance or hesitance to do something due to their nature of hiding their beauty until the moon shines upon them. Her mother would always come down to the gardens to read about each and every flower she or Bow had asked about. They would both stay up past their bedtime to watch the stunning glow erupt from each bud.

She wondered if her mother had asked for those flowers specifically because of their meaning. ‘Was it a warning?’ she thought. She shook her head and started to walk towards the other side of the gardens. Her legs hurt as she did so, but she tried to ignore it as best she could. The gardens flowers had changed from the lunar labiscus to bleeding hearts. Their red coloration was a stark contrast from the cold blue of everything else. There was a bench in the middle of the transition from blue to red. She sat down to admire it. The bench was cold and hard sculpted stone, overgrown with vines crawling up the sides of it. Glimmer had recalled sitting here with her mother as she read from a book, back when she had time to read. She would kick her feet as the queen read aloud. More often than not it was a romance, which Bow adored. He would sit for hours laying on his stomach with his legs moving to and fro listening to it. A lot of the time Glimmer, as a child, was indifferent. She had never felt that way towards anyone before and she mostly had a tone of nutreality to everyone around her if only but a few exceptions, like family or Bow. A lot of children her age would never talk to her because of her rank. She was a princess, which means to most everyone else is, she gets what she wants, whenever she wants. Most wouldn’t want a brat for a friend and others, wanted her power. The power that she didn’t have.

She had nothing to offer them apart from all of the normal things normal kids have, companionship. Yet, no one wanted that apart from Bow. At least she knew now that if all the other kids wanted were material things and not herself, they would gladly abandon her given the chance once they got what they wanted. ‘That might be a little bit harsh’ she thinks to herself, but she does admit that there was always a divide between them that she could not bridge. It became even harder when she had to explain to people why she doesn’t have a dad anymore. ‘Would it have been worse to know him and have him taken away, or to never know him at all?’ she asks internally, ‘Will I ever know the answer?’

Her head droops to face the ground, contorted in thought. The grass’ cold wet morning dew clings to her feet. ‘It’s strange how I didn’t notice until now’ she wiggles her toes and the grass shifts. ‘It’s enough to distract myself until I find something else to do I suppose.’ She stares at the way the droplets catch the light from the moon and reflect it right back to her eyes. It feels, almost serene. She lets out a yawn and leans back on her palms to look back up at the sky.


	2. We Have All Night To Try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora is worried for Glimmer. Glimmer is worried for Adora. Neither is worried enough about themselves.

There was a light slapping of socks against wet ground and Glimmer was up and in a defensive stance as fast as she could manage without her body wanting to give up on her. She had turned around to face the approaching sound and saw Adora with her sword being dragged by the handle across the ground making a line in the grass. Her jacket was barely hanging onto her shoulders and her ponytail had been messily attempted to be put back into its former glory. She stopped as soon as she saw Glimmer’s stance and put the sword on the ground. 

“Glimmer? Are you okay?” Adora asked. She walked slowly towards her with her hands up to try and look comforting. Glimmer let her arms drop to her sides and a sigh escaped from her mouth. As Adora got closer she began to stare at Glimmer’s face, unsure as to what she should say next.“I, um, woke up earlier and you were out of bed and I got worried that you were kidnapped or something while I was asleep so, I, um, looked outside of your room and I couldn’t find you, and I, uh, guess this is a bad time isn’t it?”

Glimmer sighed again, “No, No, this is actually a great time, just, let’s sit down for a sec.” Both of them sat on top of the bench and Adora shivered at its lack of heat. Glimmer had the sudden urge to try to get closer to her, to keep away the chill, but she had decided against it. It was testing her own boundaries too much. If she were to get close now, she would fall to pieces later and she didn’t want to add more on to Adora’s shoulders. 

Adora had her eyebrows furrowed as she looked between the dew on the grass and Glimmer’s face. She was waiting for her to talk, but was not sure how to continue if Glimmer wouldn’t speak. She shuffled her jacket around awkwardly while Glimmer gathered her words. “I’m having trouble sleeping.” she murmured, Adora shot a strange look, “I know, I know, It’s kinda obvious, but…” she paused and leaned back on the bench, using her arms to steady herself, “It’s kinda always been this way.” Glimmer’s eyes face skyward, watching as the moon’s light came down in rays. She felt as though she should be at ease with this sight, but her body was tense. It was so close to caving. So close to becoming nothing in less than a blink of an eye. This feeling was not foreign, she had felt it many times before, but the feeling had never lasted long enough to focus on or she just didn’t have the headspace to. 

Adora cleared her throat, “You don’t ever seem to have a problem falling asleep on away missions or when we have sleepovers.” she stated quietly, looking at the almost ethereal lights exuding from the flowers. Her legs were fidgeting as she spoke. 

Glimmer sighed, “It’s easy to fake sleeping,” she paused, “not quite as easy to get in that state of mind.” Adora looked at her lap. Her eyes were focusing intently on the folds of her pants, she wasn’t expecting such a cold and tired response.

“Sorry,” she whispers, the remorse in that one word struck Glimmers heart. “No no no! You didn’t do anything! I’m sorry, I made it sound like it was your fault for not knowing.” The words tumbled from Glimmer’s lips faster than she could think about what she was saying. 

Adora lifted her head, “No, it’s fine. Don’t even worry about it!” she added a sweet forgiving smile just to make sure there were no hard feelings. Unfortunately, this made Glimmers heart ache even further just by looking at it. She could feel every time her heart would beat, it felt as if there was something squeezing around it. 

Glimmer lifted her arms to cross them around her chest. She huffed and felt an awful fear creep around her whole body, but not close enough to her mind for her to recognize it. She leaned forward, head drooping a bit as she did so, and let the feeling consume her. If only for just a moment she could feel it, then numbness would fade. Adora placed her hand on Glimmer’s shoulder and she tensed. Adora’s hand shot away as if she were burned, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, contact probably wasn’t the best decision there.” There was a distinct stinging where Adora’s hand had been that was not entirely because she was sore. It felt as if the skin had turned to tiny spiders with needles for legs had burst out and began scattering wherever they pleased. Glimmer curled in on herself even further, shivers coating her every move. 

“Hey, um, why don’t we go back to your room? I’m sure that together we can make it so you can sleep better.” Adora cautiously continued. Glimmer hesitated for a moment before sighing and giving in, she nodded to Adora and her sickeningly sweet smile scurried right back onto her face once again. “Great, I’m sure we can work this out. We have all night after all.” 

Glimmer supposed that statement should’ve been reassuring, yet all it did was make her fear the idea of trying to sleep more prominent. She would have to try.

For Adora.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof i havent updated this in a long time. sorry about that, kinda couldn't focus until now. this chapter is relatively short but im taking baby steps here!!! Im Gonna Get Better I Swear!!!! but at least theres a whole lot more glimmadora fics now! so i hope those will motivate me enough to finish this properly. after all this is like the only fic that i've published multiple chapters for, so i have high hopes!!!  
> tumblr @ jazztasticjaguar  
> to all of you lovelies who gave this fic a kudos and a comment <3333333 you guys are most of what motivates me to finish these things so thanks!!!!


	3. Harder The Heart Clenches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glimmer is a lot worse than either suspected. Glimmer has to figure out how to keep her anxieties and feelings locked away in order to recieve the help she really needs from Adora.

“You can’t teleport both of us there Glimmer, we both know that.” Adora paused as she picked up her sword, “Here wait, you can hold the sword and I can carry you up to your room.” 

Glimmer blanked for a moment as her chest began to clench even harder in on itself than it had before. Her stomach lurched and her eyes quickly skittered to the bushes with red bleeding hearts skewered on their branches. “Adora,” she whined, “I don’t need to be carried.” She stated quietly, her cheeks and lips starting to feel warm against the cool night air. Glimmer’s lungs weren’t allowing much air as she stood up from the bench. Her legs groaned at the motion and pins stuck themselves into her calves. The pain seeped further into her the longer she stood, but she had refused to show any evidence. She breathed short and quick through her teeth as she bit onto her lip. 

Adora looked back towards Glimmer, worry etched on her face. She walked towards Glimmer and reached her arm around her shoulder, but she paused. Glimmers eyes shot back to Adora once more. Adora raised an eyebrow at her in a silent question and she nodded in response. 

Adora’s arm laid across Glimmer’s shoulders and she steadied her. Glimmer had tried to hold back a shiver from the feeling of her warmth spreading through her arm. It was akin to tiny flames licking up around her shoulders and back, decimating all the frost that had consumed Glimmer before. It was a cruel reminder of how frigid the chilled air of the night had been treating her and of the how cold the wet grass had felt on her feet. 

“How about we just walk there, I kinda, uh, don’t want to risk teleporting halfway across Etheria because you’re too tired to do anything right now.” Adora smiled as Glimmer looked up at her. Another crushing feeling had been stacked onto Glimmer’s chest. She gulped and began walking side by side with Adora, her eyes focused on the ground, or as focused as her eyes could've been. 

They shuffle across the courtyard, passing flowers of all kinds of colors along the way. Sometimes Glimmer would catch Adora staring wide eyed at all of the different kinds. “No flowers in the Horde, I suppose?” she mumbles. Adora jumps slightly as they walk and her attention was drawn toward Glimmer again. 

She sighs wistfully, “Yeah, to be honest, the only plants I would see growing around the Horde were these vines Catra and I would find in the more abandoned sides of the Fright Zone.” She looks towards the ground and listens to the sound of the grass crunching underneath both of their feet as she paused, “We would always climb them and end up getting in trouble for either going up to somewhere we weren’t supposed to be or accidentally hurting each other by falling down.” She giggles quietly with a certain melancholy following it, “That never stopped us from still doing it though.” 

A silence struck for a moment too long until Glimmer nudged Adora softly. She turned her head and Glimmer gave her a worn out smile and Adora shared a similar one to herself as she let her head face the distant horizon.

They approached the steps toward the castle and Glimmer moaned. Her knees were shaky and creaked with the little energy that she had left in her. Adora smirked, “My offer to be carried is still out there, just so you know.” She flushed again, hot coals resting on her rosy cheeks and she sighed, “I don’t need to be carried, Adora.” Her stomach compressed at the thought.

Adora nods, “Alright, if you say so.” They travel up each individual step, Glimmer stumbling and inhaling everytime she has to move. Her eyes clamp shut and the spiders with needles for legs return to make her skin feel like it’s going to start gushing with blood. ‘Every step, is closer to peace.’ she thinks to herself. She repeats it until she believes it. Adora’s eyebrows furrow with worry, but her mouth opens before she can think of anything to say. 

They approach the top of the staircase sluggishly, Adora because she was making sure Glimmer wouldn’t fall down the entire flight of stairs, and Glimmer because of complete and utter exhaustion. The final step should’ve been an enormous relief to Glimmer, but that thought was quickly dashed by the realization that she would still have to walk the rest of the way to her room. Her knees quaked unnaturally and she wrapped her arm around Adora to try and lift herself up from the sudden wave of fatigue that was trying to consume her.

Her face felt red hot and sweat was already dripping down her forehead. She could feel each individual drop slide uncomfortably slowly down the hills of her features to the curve of her neck. The more she felt, the more she realised she wasn’t going to be able to stand for much longer. She stumbled forward and landed on her hands and knees. She struggled to hear the sounds of Adora calling to her and the sounds of the late night trying to betray her. The silence was ganging up on her and crushing her thoughts into submission. They would not slow down. Yet it felt as though everything were in slow motion as she felt her hands scrape ever so painfully against the castle grounds. Her head barely tries to keep itself up only to give up in favor of succumbing to the pushing of waves, crashing and pulling at the seams of her limbs.

Something moves her shoulder. She can feel her shoulder move, but not what the thing moving it feels like.

Someone is speaking to her. She can feel the vibrations in the air, but not what words they make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapter my dudes!!! this one was a litlle faster on the update so thats good! plus im already working on the next chapter so you wont be left on such a cliffhanger for too long,,, i was going to make this one a little longer than usual but the "end" of this chapter didnt flow too well so i split em in half!!   
> thanks again to everyone who commented and gave a kudos!! yall keep me writing my dudes <33333333  
> my tumblr is @ jazztasticjaguar if yall want to send some prompts!!


	4. Begging And Pleading

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glimmer collapsed. Adora is trying her hardest. Glimmer can't stop trying her hardest. They both need a break.

Adora’s mind became empty with only the thought of helping Glimmer out of the extreme flash of exhaustion. She dropped her sword on the ground and held onto Glimmer tightly. Adora turned her over and rested her head on her lap. She was still conscious, but her eyes were glazed and unfocused. 

“Oh no, oh no, oh no, Glimmer?” Adora leaned into Glimmer’s face and she had turned her head to the side. 

“I’m f-fine, I just need to… get my bear-bearings,” she spoke with uncertainty and exhaustion laced underneath her words. 

This sent a spike of frustration to embed itself in Adora’s heart, “Fine?” she spoke in a half whisper and a half yell incredulously, “Glimmer, you just collapsed on the floor from you not letting yourself sleep!” 

Glimmer winced at every word, she fully knew that it was her fault for this and because she said nothing, Adora was worried and angry about it. Glimmer turned her head back up to face Adora again, her neck muscles moaned at the movement, only to find that Adora was mere inches away. Glimmer’s eyes widened and her mouth became dry. She felt as if her ribcage were caving because of the immense weight pushing down on it.

On any other day, she would've felt light as a feather, but today was a time where she felt that she should retreat. ‘I can't do it, I couldn't do it to her, I can't make her worry for me more, I can't, I can't, don't, don't please.’ she repeats over until she believes she can manage. Her lips are stinging and she draws them into her mouth to avoid getting them any closer than they already are. Her face is burning so hot it feels as if the skin should melt off. The night air is so cold. It’s so cold. So cold on her skin compared to the magma that was flowing within her. 

She can only take in small words that Adora is trying to convey to her. Some words that come up often are, ‘Angella’ ‘Bow’ ‘worried’ ‘sleep’ and ‘carry’. Glimmer’s thoughts stop at the last word. Adora stops speaking, and Glimmer feels worse than she began. Her breathing quickens and she looks directly at Adora once again and only wishes that she didn't. She sees her, slightly teary eyed with her eyebrows furrowed and her mouth open. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, fuck, you're passing out and I’m yelling at you. Hold on I’m carrying you to your room.” Glimmer cringed at the idea, but she couldn’t say anything about it. Firstly, because she had already caused enough trouble. Secondly, she was pretty sure she was passing out right now, so she didn't want to risk expending too much energy, or worse, worry Adora more. 

Adora gathered all of Glimmer in her arms and put her sword on her back once again. Glimmer could only see the look of Adora’s unsure expression as she quickly carried her through the castle. The warm hand resting on the side of her abdomen and on her thigh. A flurry of hot static was exuding from both hands. 

‘So close, I can't… breathe’ every puff of air she took in found itself lost in her lungs and unable to come back out. Her lips ache, she needs it. She can't move, but she needs it. 

‘Please.’ she begs, not sure as to who she directed it to.

‘Please.’ she repeats, her muscles tense.

“Please.” she whispers, her face and ears are burning. She wants to writhe around to get closer, but her muscles refuse. Adora looks down to Glimmer, sweat is shining on her forehead, loose hair sticking to it still. Glimmer’s breath isn’t lost, its long gone. Her ribcage is constricting further than she thought it could.

“What? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” she speaks with extreme concern, “We’re close to your room now, I can get you something when we get there.” 

Glimmer doesn’t quite process the sentence until a few moments after. Her heart is pleading with her to lean up and kiss her, or at least get closer. Her head says otherwise. She does neither. “Water,” she decides to say instead of the many things she could've, but the sheer disappointment that was brought with that answer was unbearable. She couldn't live with the disappointment and adds, “You.” The immediate regret followed, She could not describe which was worse.

“What?” Adora whisper yelled and she slowed her speed walk down unintentionally. Glimmer was looking away again and only just realised how close they really were to her room. Panic fumed in her stomach causing it to twist and make her feel sick. 

She opened her mouth unsteadily, “I want you… to keep me comp-company.” The panic that was resting in her stomach dissipated slowly. It was being replaced by emptiness. 

“Oh.” Adora sounded relieved, for a reason Glimmer couldn’t figure out.

Adora fumbled with the door with the hand that was holding up Glimmer’s legs. The absence of her hand had made Glimmer’s thigh slightly cold and her completely desperate for the attention once more. After quite a few tries, and quite a lot of angered mumbling, Adora spoke up, “I’m going to carry you with my other arm, just don’t scream or be startled, please.”

“Wha-” was the last half word that Glimmer was able to get out before she shut herself up. Rather, Adora moving her effortlessly and carrying her over her shoulder left Glimmer with no words to say. Adora quickly opened the door and rushed up the stairs to place Glimmer on the bed. 

She looked up to Adora and saw the most warm and tired expression she had ever seen on her. “You wait here, I’m gonna get you some water.” She spoke softly but with conviction. She left as soon as she came, leaving Glimmer with her thoughts again. 

She felt the cool sheets and blankets under her back. It felt nice on her spine, but it led her to think how it could’ve gotten so cold so fast. ‘We weren’t gone that long, were we?’ She thought to herself. She didn’t know what time she left, nor what time it was now, so she would have no way of knowing how long they had been out for. Nonetheless, she tried to close her eyes to try and relax before Adora got back.

‘Maybe,’ she thought, ‘Maybe I’ll get to sleep before she comes back?’ It was wishful thinking she knew, but she realised that she wouldn’t be able to see her before bed. 

She decided against it and let her mind drift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAH! next day delivery on your sad gays my dudes!! i had loads of inspo today so it was pretty easy to get this chapter done. this ones a lil longer than usual so i hope you enjoy!!  
> thanks to everyone who commented and kudosed this fic!!! thanks for keeping me writing!!!  
> tumblr jazztasticjaguar  
> <3


	5. Trust Is Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora gets water for Glimmer, which leads to slight embarrassment and a talk she thought she wouldn't have.

Adora leaned against the door and let out a deep and heavy sigh. She was finally able to calm down, but, unfortunately, that left her with two things. One, her body wasn’t quite as prepared for moving this late at night as she thought it was. Two, her thoughts had yet to slow down with the rest of her.

She got up on her own two feet again to take a deep breath. ‘It’s okay… it’s going to be okay.’ she tries to drown out all of the unwanted fears and worries in order to focus. Glimmer still needed her, after all, she still needed to make her feel safe tonight. She began to walk towards where she remembered the kitchen was. The castle was huge, so, she still got lost occasionally in its extensive rooms and hallways, most of which she had no idea what they were for.

The halls were quiet and lonely, with the blue reflections of the moon greeting her through the windows. She cut through each ray of light effortlessly and watched as her shadow was cast on the other wall. It wasn’t an unwelcome loneliness, just a chance to think and observe. 

The night was beautiful and the sounds were even better. Each and every little thing was just as busy during the day as they were now. The lights never stopped and the noises didn’t either. It made her wonder if they needed a break ever?

She knew that there was no way something could keep “burning the candle at both ends,” as Bow would remark. He had to tell her what a candle was the first time she heard the phrase. Which led to learning the delicious scents of many of them. It seemed cruel to her to have so many things that smell so nice and yet taste so awful. Glimmer had laughed when Adora had asked if she could have a bite. It made her cheeks flush from embarrassment. She would never know what the taste of a summer’s breeze was, and it made her a little frustrated to never be able to learn.

She made her way to the kitchen. The hard floors were frigid on her feet. She looked down and realised she had been tracking mud and dew all over the castle because she had forgotten about her socks. She grumbled slightly and sat down on the floor to take them off. She was halfway through pulling the first one off before she was interrupted by a soft clearing of a throat. 

She looked up and saw the queen, standing tall with absolutely perfect posture. Adora’s mouth opened briefly with the only word following through being a few uhs and ahs. She quickly rose to her feet and took on her military stance. Standing completely straight with her hand making a mechanical salute. It was second nature to her to adopt this kind of professionalism because of the Horde. It was an instinct she had yet to let go of.

“Your majesty,” she spoke. She could feel her cheeks burning as she pictured how ridiculous this all looked to her. 

Queen Angella lowered her eyebrows and waved her hand off to the side, “At ease,” Adora shifted her hand to her side, but kept her body stiff, “I mean, at ease-at ease, Adora. Do you really think that I’m up for this kind of professionalism at almost two in the morning?” 

Adora’s eyes widened and her shoulders raised slightly, “Two?” she composed herself quickly, “Why are you up? We just had an intense battle with the Horde, shouldn’t you be exhausted?”

“I could ask the same to you. You fought just as valiantly, I would’ve thought you’d be collapsed as soon as their troops retreated.” 

Adora rubbed her arm and looked to the side, “I am up for a similar reason to you, I presume?” Angella walked toward the counter further into the kitchen, “Just worried is all.” 

“Oh,” was all Adora could think to say. She moved towards one of the cupboards and opened it up. She spared a glance toward the queen to see that she was holding her temples with her fingers, eyes closed with brows furrowed seemingly indefinitely. Adora grabbed three cups from the shelf. One was a mug that looked like a child had painted on its side. The other two had logos on them which Adora didn’t recognise from anywhere. She poured some water into each of them from the tap, the silence keeping her company after the water was turned off. It was comfortable and soft to hear nothing for a while. Though she had just been surrounded by sound only moments ago, she found she preferred the nice quiet. Despite how glum the queen was currently.

She placed the mug with the childish painting next to Angella. It made a small clinking sound and she jumped slightly. She looked toward the mug and back up toward Adora, “Oh, thank you.” She put both of her hands around the mug, as if cradling it like the child who had painted it. She turned to face Adora completely.

Adora sipped quietly and avoided her gaze. The water reminded her of how thirsty she was. It was nice. She sipped once more and let a small smile encase her lips. She leaned on the side of the counter and looked back up towards the queen. She was admiring the side of the mug with a similar smile to Adora’s. “Glimmer made this, you know.” Her eyes held such nostalgia for it. Adora swore she had seen that look whenever Glimmer or Bow talked of their shared childhood, to the point where she wondered if she made the same expression when talking about her own youth. 

“Really? When?” Adora asked, she began to look at it more intently than before. It had a small cartoon doodle of a small purple kid and three adults. One was pink and had wings, one was light blue with a beard, and one was dark blue with a bun on their head. Glimmer, Angella, Micah, and Castaspella she assumed. 

Angella smiled, “Not recently, if that’s what you’re asking.” she chuckled softly, “She was just about to start first grade when she went on a trip to see Castaspella for the weekend. I was mostly busy when we were there, but Glimmer would get tired of talking to the same person too long and all her aunt ever wanted to do was talk for hours. She would occasionally tug on Micah’s or my leg until we would get her to leave Glimmer to play for a bit. She was trying so hard to not let her feelings be hurt.” Angella paused to look down into her drink for a moment. 

“She hasn’t changed much I guess…” Adora piped up and it made the queen pause. She looked up from her drink and rose an eyebrow.

“What do you mean by that?” 

Adora gulped, “No, no, no, I don’t mean in a bad way or anything I just, uh, she tends to, um, keep things to herself more often than not.” 

Angella hums tiredly, “Yes, I suppose.” 

The silence now isn’t as comforting. ‘I ruined it,’ Adora thought, ‘I thought I could make this better than the other times I’ve talked with her. I messed it up, I always do. I-’ 

“That’s what worries me sometimes.” Adora’s eyes widened slightly at that, urging her to continue. She sighed, “She doesn’t tell me anything anymore. She doesn’t tell me when she’s hurt, when she’s sick, when she needs help. It makes me wonder if it’s my fault.”

“Why would it be your fault?” Adora asks. 

“What other reason would she have to not trust me other than I’ve shown to not be able to be trusted?”

“Oh, well, I uh,” Adora stuttered.

“You don’t have to respond to that.” She spoke quietly, “It’s a hard question we both don’t know the answer for.”

“Right.” She took a slow and long gulp. “You could always ask, I mean, the worst thing she could do is not answer, but at least she’ll know you’re trying to make this better?”  
A small quiet began again before Adora elaborated, “She just might have a different reason than you think behind all of this. I don’t know if she does because she doesn’t talk about it much, but I think it would make you both feel better if you just talked.”

“Thank you, Adora, I’ll speak with her about it tomorrow morning.”

“Oh actually you might want to wait a little bit longer than that, um, she didn’t sleep too well tonight and I, uh, don’t think she’ll be up for serious business talk when she can barely keep her eyes open.”

She hummed, “I see. Has she not been sleeping well a lot lately?” She pried. Adora wasn’t exactly sure how to answer that, so she shrugged. “Alright, is there anything you want to talk to me about since you had to listen to me ramble?” She filled up her mug with water to the brim. 

Adora shook her head, “No, I think I’m just going to got to bed now. It’s been a long day.” She picked up the second cup full of water and looked back toward the queen, “Goodnight, your majesty.” 

As she walked towards the hallway to Glimmer’s room Angella spoke, “Just so you know, Adora, I’m always open to talk if you need. I understand if you are not ready and maybe Glimmer isn’t either, but please remember I’m here to help, not hurt you.”

Adora’s shoulders released a tension she didn’t realise she had, “Than-Thank you, your majesty.”

It was reassuring to hear, and she let herself have a tiny celebration for finally making a good impression on the queen. Things are going to get better, Adora was sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is overall less descriptive than the others because theres not really much you can describe in a kitchen other than the stuff youd expect... :/  
> but!!! a new chapter is a new chapter none the less!!!! a little less sad than usual and a lot of talking with your friend's mom awkwardness. im a little out of practice with this stuff because i left this chapter hanging for so long but i got it done today.  
> thanks to everyone who gave a kudos or comment on the last chapter, yall are the coolest!!!!! you keep me writing <33333  
> tumblr @jazztasticjaguar


	6. This Is Nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally some relief.

‘It can’t get much worse, can it?’ Glimmer tried to reason with herself. She was swiftly reminded that, yes indeed, things could get infinitely worse. Adora could start hating her again because of whatever the hell Glimmer felt for her. If that were to happen Adora would have to avoid Glimmer like the plague. Which is hard considering they’re trying to fight a war right now and the battle of brightmoon is just a taste of what the Horde would do to tear Adora away from Bright Moon’s clutches. Meaning, Glimmer as well. If she said anything about it to Adora, It’d be like surrendering in this war early. 

A small part of her spoke, ‘Have you considered, now hear me out, not being such a self-hating bitch about this and think about the chance that she could actually like you back?’ Glimmer ground her teeth, ‘First of all, I don't even know if this is love. Second of all, just by you saying that I am a bitch is self hatred, so shut up.’

Glimmer groped the sheets underneath her hands just to keep them busy. She turned her head to the side to stare at the door. ‘She’s not coming back.’ she thought and her heart was given a strong squeeze. She internally shook her head, ‘Okay, no, calm down, she’s been gone for a maximum of like five minutes. She probably just got lost or something.’

She gripped harder at her sheets again, ‘What if she was kidnapped by the Horde? What if Catra is in here right now waiting to strike on Adora when she’s at her most vulnerable?’ Her thoughts perpetuated faster and to more drastic situations. She began to fidget and her hands started to sweat. 

The door opened slowly and silently and Glimmer’s heart stopped. She could do nothing. She can't teleport. She can't fight. She can't even breathe. 

“Glimmer?” Adora’s voice came into the room quiet and reassuring. Glimmer sat up and her back ached at even the idea not to mention it happening so quickly. Her head swam from light-headedness. 

Adora walked in with two cups in both of her hands. Glimmer’s heart didn’t slow, but her head did. She carefully shut the door with her foot and climbed the steps sluggishly. ‘Of course she’s tired, and I just made her get water for me after everything she’s done for all of us. Why does she even bother with me? I’m so much trouble all for nothing.’ she thought to herself. She wrapped her arms around herself and gave it a squeeze. She looked down in her lap until she felt Adora sit down on the lip of her bed. 

She hands Glimmer the glass. She wraps her hands around it so that she can't drop it. That would completely solidify herself as a clumsy, good for nothing, worthless piece of garbage that she thought she was. The water was lukewarm, because the glass felt like almost nothing in her hands. She took a sip to test the temperature, but after just a tiny sip it felt like the first few drops of rain had hit the desert ground. She could hardly control herself when she started to chug half the glass. Around the halfway point, she realised that Adora was staring at her. She felt her body heat up and she reluctantly pulled the glass away from her lips and rested it against her leg. 

Glimmer looked towards the floor as she felt her ears heat up uncomfortably. She felt that if she were to die right now, it’d be a fitting and sardonically humourous death. She’d be the joke of the century. ‘Don't give yourself too much credit, in order for you to be a joke people would've had to have cared about you,’ she internally sighed, ‘or to remember you, at least.’

Adora lifted her hand up towards Glimmer’s face and her eyes widened. She looked up once more to Adora’s face. It was too dark for her to make out what her expression was. Adora’s hand faltered for a moment, staying deathly still next to her face. Glimmer held her breath. Her cheek stung with anticipation, only to need to wait longer. She had the urge to lean closer and to feel the callouses on Glimmer’s soft cheek. 

The moment of anticipation faded to give way to the touch of her hand and a thumb rubbing around the side of her mouth. Rough skin felt heavenly to her as she closed her eyes and leaned in. A small wave of relaxation washed over her. For a small moment, none of her bones felt like they were being worn down, none of her muscles felt like they had been running for far longer than they were supposed to. It was just her essence. The very core of Glimmer’s being and none of the limitations of her body. She rubbed her head into Adora’s hand, barely even aware she did. 

Adora moved her hand up to Glimmer’s hair and lightly scratched at her scalp. Glimmer’s breath hitched and she leaned in closer. Her fingers were so gentle, it felt so nice it should've been illegal.

“We should probably sleep now, huh?” Adora whispered and Glimmer hummed absentmindedly as her fingers toyed with each strand of hair. “Is this helping?” 

Glimmer looked up at Adora with half lidded eyes, “What do you think?” she slurred slightly. Her heart felt so light and warm in her chest, she couldn’t help but think to herself ‘This is nice.’ She wanted to keep doing this for as long as she could. 

Adora’s hands grew hesitant and she paused. Glimmer’s eyes narrowed, “What’s wrong?” her chest hurt at the thought of her making Adora uncomfortable.

Adora answered somewhat nervously, “Oh, uh, I just, my back. It kinda, well, it hurts a lot and, ah, well, I don't think you'll sleep that great while sitting up so…” 

Glimmer shushed Adora and laid down again. She tugged Adora down with her and led to both of them face to face. Glimmer’s mind was clouded and her lips tinged with a need. ‘You can't. Not now.’ The darkness was a great cover for the blood rushing around her body and making everywhere feel and look flushed to its core.

She heard Adora’s mouth open and her lips smacked unintentionally. “Are you tired enough to sleep? Or should I do something to help you be more comfortable?” It was so sweet and well natured, it was almost shocking coming from She-ra herself. Glimmer could feel the vibrations move from Adora’s words. She felt very vulnerable, but it was good. It felt good, better than it ever had. She was holding her hand out for Glimmer and Glimmer only. She was helping her because she cared.

‘She cares,’ Glimmer thought and, for some reason, it made tears threaten to fall from her eyes. It felt red hot and uncontrollable when she let out a strained sob. “Glimmer?” Adora asked.

Glimmer just wrapped her arms around Adora and sobbed into her shirt. She was still wearing her jacket, which was coarse and rough on her face, but it was so utterly and completely, just, Adora. She couldn't bring herself to care. Adora put her arm around Glimmer’s torso and rubbed her back as drops of salty water got her shirt wet. 

She doesn't remember falling asleep, but she knows for certain that she has fallen for Adora.

... 

She sits up quickly and looks from side to side to check for threats. Her heart hurts from how fast it’s beating, but it comes down as she sees Adora with her arm limply and tiredly trying to keep her arm wrapped around Glimmer in her sleep. Glimmer’s expression softens as she lays back down. She leans close to Adora’s lips and pauses. Her body tingles and she knows this is exactly what she wants, but she moves toward her forehead instead and gives her a gentle kiss. 

Glimmer feels nothing but bliss when she drifts off once more. Her last thought being, ‘This is nice.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys like this small bit of fluff in this sea of angst cause idk how long thisll last :(  
> i was in a good mood today, so this chapter is not as cruel as usual!!! im glad to get back to writing these two theyre so sweet :D  
> thanks to everyone who gave a kudos and comment to the last chap!!!! i always try to respond to comments as soon as i can do feel free to!! <33333333333  
> tumblr jazztasticjaguar


	7. Blankets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora wakes up and Glimmer does too. Neither of them feels entirely rested.

Adora wakes up to a warm presence wrapped up in her arms and shining on her face. She cracks an eye open and is met with golden ribbons splayed out across the messy room. They’re wrapped around all the shiny crystals and bottles all over. Warming them with beautiful colors. It felt so… domestic. It felt like the home she never had, but she was unsure if it was well deserved. She moved her focus to the puff of pink and purple hair underneath her chin. It’s owner didn’t stir at the movement, but her breathing was loud enough to hear. It was reassuring to know that she was safe and that she was really there. 

Adora shifted slightly to envelop her to make the both of them feel a little safer, only to feel a slight wetness to the mattress. She sat up slowly to look and found the cup that Glimmer was drinking out of last night. She remembered clearly how quickly she had chugged it that water was dripping down her face. She didn’t even notice that it was there, she had to wipe it off Glimmer’s cheek herself. Adora sighed and got out of the blankets only to be met with the early morning chill. She shivered and debated pretending that the stain didn't exist just so she could sleep in a tiny bit longer. Alas, she was already up and she didn’t want to have to sleep around a cold spot, so, she got up. Glimmer mumbled something under her breath and Adora kept still. Glimmer curled up further in on herself and her brows furrowed, but she eventually relaxed and Adora was free once again.

Adora let her legs dangle of the edge of the bed as she grabbed the glass. She tiptoed   
downstairs and headed to the kitchen to both put away the glass and grab a towel. She wasn’t quite hungry yet so breakfast could wait. The windows had frost glossed over them, but it was melting because of the warm sun’s gaze. Birds were chatting amongst themselves and the guards are just arriving for their morning rounds about the castle grounds. Sometimes the guards would give Adora strange looks and they both knew why. It’s hard to get used to the idea that someone who was once your enemy is now one of your only chances to win a war. To Glimmer and Bow, they both got to know Adora personally, so it would make sense that the rest of Bright Moon would take a while to come around. None of them knew her, so she’s hard to trust. Despite the fact that she had tried to give her absolute best to save their asses from whatever the Horde threw at them.

Adora didn’t much care for looking out the window anymore. She continued on to the kitchen, trying to avoid the tired gazes of every guard. None of them said anything, as they usually did, but Adora worried that one of them may snap at her. She was about to step into the kitchen, but was abruptly stopped dead by a massive burst of sparkles firing from out nowhere.

Adora tripped over the supposed assailant’s foot and grabbed onto the side of the doorway. “Shit! Sorry I didn’t, oh fuck I scared you really bad I’m sorry. God, I’m an idiot!” Glimmer clambered. 

“No!” Adora yelled on accident and Glimmer stared for a moment too long before she could correct herself, “I mean, no. It’s fine, I understand why you were freaked out, I could’ve woken you up or something.” 

Glimmer sighed and gave Adora a quiet and safe hug. It was warm and, quite frankly, kinda gross. Adora still felt wet and cold from the spill and the tears, she had one solemn singular damp sock on her left foot because the other was somewhere she couldn't remember putting it, and finally she was still wearing her street clothes which haven’t been washed in quite a while. She grimaced at the thought that Glimmer was smelling all of the weeks old grossness on her skin and clothes, but she didn’t seem to mind much. In fact, she seemed to be breathing in a lot now that she thinks about it.

“Glimmer?” 

Glimmer’s face rises from Adora’s chest. Her eyes are red and puffy while her hair springs in every direction possible. Her lips are chapped and have scabs caking the edges and there are purple spots underneath her eyes. She sniffs, once, twice. 

“I look like hot garbage, don’t I?” Glimmer asks legitimately. Adora nods while Glimmer sighs, “Sorry about that. Just, uh, kinda don't have time for self care while fighting a war, y’know?” A tired smile encases her lips, but doesn’t quite reach her eyes. It hurts Adora’s heart to see her like this. Every little annoyance and irritation gets malformed into some cruel joke at her own expense. She treats herself so viciously and tears her body to pieces. ‘For what?’ Adora wonders, ‘What can she possibly get out of loathing every fiber of herself until she ends up wearing down to nothing but a husk?’

Adora’s face had scrunched up enough from worry to where it was noticeable and Glimmer let her eyes drop to the floor as she let go of her. One of her hands grasps at her own forearm which is covered by her long gloves. She rubs at the fabric with her thumb and grips hard. “Hey, uh, maybe it’s best if you slept in for a little longer today, huh? Whatever kinda hazy half-awake dreaming you were doing last night kinda doesn’t get rid of that annoying exhaustion thing.” Adora tried to speak light-heartedly and Glimmer chuckled.

“Sure, fine, I’ll do whatever you want, I guess.” Adora smiled and quickly placed the cup by the kitchen sink to have the staff clean it up. She’d usually do it herself, but ‘friends first’ she told herself. Plus it was kinda their job to do this stuff anyway. 

“We, uh, probably need to get you cleaned up first.” Adora grabs Glimmer’s hand to lead her to the bathroom. Glimmer hesitates and remains in place for a second too long. Her expression was mixed. Adora gave Glimmer’s hand a gentle squeeze and she, somewhat slowly, drifted to the present. She shook her head and started walking along side Adora. 

Adora can't help feeling like there is something lingering between the both of them. A blanket of unrest draped around them, seemingly so easy to just pull off their shoulders, but it always seems to snag. There’s something she’s missing, but she couldn’t place it no matter how much she thought about it. The feeling is familiar and it’s instinctual for her to shy away from it, but she can't remember when she felt like this before. Adora didn’t think she was hiding anything, if she was she didn’t know she was supposed to be keeping a secret. Glimmer shuffled alongside Adora, hand in hand, tired and hesitant. They approach the bathroom door and they both slow down. 

“I assume you can probably clean yourself up without my help…” Adora remarks as she leans up against the wall beside the door, arms crossed. When she was met with silence and not so even as much of a chuckle she was shrouded with doubt, “I mean, do you actually need help or-”

“No! No! I’m fine, sorry.” Glimmer interrupted, “Just, uh, it’s early, I think… um what time is it?” 

“Seven-ish I think?” Adora responded, it was mostly a guess since the last time she had been aware of what hour it was is when she spoke with the queen last night.

“Oh, that’s, um, a lot earlier than we probably should be awake by now.” Glimmer pushed a chuckle past her lips and Adora followed. Both of them hardly had any idea of what they were supposed to find funny.

“I’m just gonna, uh, let you take care of business.” Adora mumbled as she took a step to the side. The door was now clear in view and suddenly becoming a whole lot more daunting than it ever could’ve been. The handle was so far. Every part of it was absolutely oozing from the cracks with terrible memories. No, not memories, feelings. Too many. 

“Do you want me to, um, open the door? I mean if you do legitimately need help in there, I won’t judge. I mean I'm impressed you can even stand-”

“No! No! I’ve got it. Just, go rest for a little, I’ll be right with you.” Glimmer hardly even recognised her own voice. It was loud, reckless, and cold above all. Adora’s features deflated, her lips in a taut line. 

“Alright, I’ll leave you be,” 

Glimmer’s heart ripped from her chest in that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof i havent updated this in a long time. sorry about that, i just couldn't really feel like i could get words down the way i felt they should go, yknow?  
> thank you all for being patient with me! i cant promise the next chap will be out soon cause of writers block, but i might try and do some writing warm ups and post em on ao3 cause i never finish that stuff. if youre interested im probably gonna try and write stuff for lwa and splatoon, so stay tuned!!

**Author's Note:**

> the amount of glimmadora fics in this world are scarce and im making myself useful by making it,,,, sad. im sure ill do some fluff one shots if i get some prompts or something to work with, feel free to comment some my dudes im down to clown with writing some. i need to fill this abyss with content and if no one else would then i will, and all ya need to do is a prompt pals
> 
> oh ye and tumblr too @ jazztasticjaguar you can send prompts there too <3


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